Trusting The Process
I will walk through fire
Plunge into the deepest waters
I will surrender to the power of the winds
Then fall to my knees and kiss the earth for the experience before disappearing into the ethers and back to Oneness.
Ashanti’s Symphony/Copyright © 2012 by Lenita Vangellis.
2016 has brought with it some extraordinary energy, exposing all that had remained hidden thus far, and shocking many out of their comfort zone.
Dark Night Of The Soul…. to those that don’t know, it sounds like a Hollywood Horror film, a nightmare one experiences, over one scary night. If that were true, boy would it be easy!
This year has been intense on many levels and I have observed a clear cut split between those truly on the path of self-actualisation and those sitting in the playground of self-conceptualisation. It’s all perfect, regardless of whether you are truly being, or just practicing.
To the adept seeker of truth, the Dark Night experience is familiar, and as one plummets further down the path of becoming an actualized soul you realize that this is not a one off experience but rather an experience that can happen many times in one’s lifetime, taking you into deeper, darker waters, on this journey of remembrance. For me it has ALWAYS been an initiation into the next stage of knowing.
The process is different for everyone and something that is very difficult for those that have never experienced it to understand. As one continually moves into higher levels of consciousness there are many significant phases to swim through. It's like a doorway into a strange land. As you enter this strange territory the light is taken away and all you have is the essence of your soul to guide you. How smoothly you move through it is a reflection of the relationship you have with your Higher Self. After some time, you exit into a whole new world and breathe deeper than you've ever breathed, you feel love, greater than you've ever felt and all is well. Time passes...and when you least expect it, another doorway appears and you know you need to open it. You do and yep...its a labyrinth, a little like a video game with more advanced stages you have to get through. and on and on it goes...unlike simulated video games, there are no cheats to be found to help you advance in stages. You've got to do it all yourself.
More often than not, you are left feeling alienated as you perceive the world around you with very different eyes to that of your friends and family. Those that love you, mean well, as they question your silence, desperate to understand what it is you’re going through. Silence and withdrawal always seems to be aligned with mental health states that scream out for a label. Once upon a time, silence and withdrawal was a practice revered by the wise as a sacred period to commune with God, your Higher Self…not so, in today’s modern society.
I have learnt to honour the process and have let go of the need to define what it is I am feeling. It just is, and in this state of Isness, talking is not necessary. In fact, talking and communing with others breaks the magic unfolding in the story of your soul. These periods, as difficult as they appear, are the greatest gift one could wish for. It makes sense to want to run away from those that don't trust the perfection of everything from a state of neutrality. Hanging in there, means on top of all you are processing, you are dodging projections from others as well, desperate to prevent anything touching your already challenged field.
Gary Z. McGee calls it healthy annihilation and I totally agree, that it is a necessary process." Like the Hindu Goddess of Never Not Broken, you’re learning to embody the ability to come together and fall apart, over and over again. Indeed, you’re discovering that your strength comes precisely from your ability to experience a dark night of the soul and come out of it with scars blazing like badges of honor. You are constantly in the throes of metanoia. You’ve been fire-tested. You’ve been verified by vicissitude. Your strength comes from your ability to adapt and overcome to falling apart and coming back together again, from wholeness to brokenness and back to a stronger form."
I’ve always had an affinity for those in history that abandoned society as they knew it and ventured far from the masses, opting to reflect in dark caves and upon mountaintops with nothing but nature in its purest state surrounding them. I dare say, I’ve had lives like these in days gone by. I am guilty of ‘trying’ to replicate that whilst traversing life in suburbia with all the responsibilities of holding down the fort for a large family. This doesn’t always go down well and triggers conversations of concern from those that ‘love’ me. But here’s the thing….Love trusts the process. I’ll say that again, LOVE, TRUSTS THE PROCESS! Concern is far more aligned with fear, and when this is projected upon you by those that love you, it hinders the process.
I have learnt to allow others to experience whatever they need to experience without judgement and opinions from me. I understand the power of projection, thoughts and spoken, and I’m acutely aware of anything coded with fear. Holding a space of Unconditional love, devoid of anything else, is always aligned with the highest good of all. At least the way I see it...
As we move deeper into knowing and wholeness ,may each step we take, be’ laced with grace’ and may we learn to honour the process of another.
Having said that, I'm feeling like there is a new version of the Dark Night Of The Soul doing the rounds. It feels like an upgrade of sorts that is affecting lightworkers and all that are active in ushering in a new paradigm with an unexplainable weariness. In fact, calling it The Dark Battle of the Soul is probably more accurate for many on the frontline. The quality and symptoms of the experience change as you embody more light. The light can no longer be ignored as it has reached unprecedented levels on this planet. Those invested in the status quo will go to great lengths to put a cap on the light of a self realised soul who can potentially affect many, inadvertently increasing the light quotient even more. Dark energy will attach itself to anyone and anything to get to those that threaten it, and to the neophyte this is very difficult to discern. They wear bright cloaks, often white, and have adapted their dance to move through clouds of burning sage.
(Excerpt from Ashanti's Symphony)
His face continued to mutate further as his team moved closer toward him forming a wall of darkness before me. The slits in their snakelike eyes glowed with a blood-red intensity as their long forked tongues whipped in and out of their lipless mouths. I knew I had to keep him close in order for the galactic crew to contain his energy and encapsulate it. He looked at me with such hatred in his beady eyes as I radiated love back to him, making him progressively more uncomfortable. He began to heave and yell at me. "There just isn’t enough love on this planet to tip the scales, can’t you see?
(Excerpt from Ashanti's Symphony)
We'll see about that!
This is a time to take a step back and sit with yourself, the alpha and omega is within you and you alone.